Toddler Shopping Partner

March 10, 2010 at 4:09 pm | Posted in Baby Weight (Evan) | Leave a comment

Evan has always been a quite decent shopping partner.  He’s a big people watcher and that always comes in handy at the grocery store or the mall.  When his mouth opens you can always stuff some sort of carbohydrate based snack in it and it will close.  He also has a fondness of getting items out of the cart to purposely drop them on the floor while practicing his innocent face and saying, “Uh oh.”

This weekend we had all sorts of shopping to do.  Saturday we met Stephanie and Miss Lea at the mall to look for dresses for me.  He did OK.  He did a lot of stareing flirty eyes at Stephanie and Lea. 

He did go into the dressing room once with me.  Imagine an enormous dressing room filled with bleach-blonde, fake-tanned 17 year olds trying on prom dresses.  When all you see is sparkles, neon orange poof fabric,  impossible pattern and color combinations and too much teenage skin showing: you’re there. 

Then there was me.  In a foot by foot dressing room with my son throwing Cheerios on the floor while laughing at me in his stroller.  After one dress I was boring apparently and Evan said as much, so I resorted to singing the ABCs whilst stuffing myself in various dresses.  Quite a different view than when I was trying on dresses for MY prom *mumble*ty years ago. 

At another store, Evan reeeeeeeealllly wanted to touch the bras.  OHH!  BRAS! GIMMIENOW!  But he couldn’t say that, right?  Because of his limited vocab and all.  So I say, “No Evan!  Don’t touch the bras!”  Then Evan starts yelling “BRA! BRA! BRAAAAAA!!!”  Another new word.  I’m such a proud mama. *mama sigh*

Then the HORROR.  The dishonor and disgrace that is shopping for a swimsuit.  A swimsuit hasn’t been on my ass in well over 5 years.  I head straight for the one piece skirted suits promising to make me pretty and 111 pounds thinner.  I picked one that may as well be a dress.  Even my very conservative husband was all: WTF is this?  Why did you buy a granny swimsuit??  It WAS a little grandma… I’m going to return it for something more “mommy”.  ANYWHO.  In the process of picking out said granny swimsuit I had to try on several with poor Evan in a cart crammed into a VERY small dressing room.  As I’m about to put on the first one: SNAP!  I look down and Evan is saying his version of DIAPER and SNAPPING MY UNDIES!  I haven’t got the proper mommy-non-reactive-to-funny-things-as-to-not-encourage-it and half laughed, half whispered: EVAN!  Since he was entertaining me he thought he would continue to do it.  I tried to get myself as far away from him as possible while pretzeling myself into the yards and yards of stretchy fabric.  He laughed some more and dropped Cheerios on the dressing room floor.

Yet I am forever screwed because of this face:

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