World of WarCrap

February 18, 2009 at 12:21 pm | Posted in I shouldn't have even posted this, It's OK to be confused... I am, The Others | 1 Comment

The hell?

No.  Wait… seriously?

Are. You. For. Real?

My husband plays this damned computer game from hell ALL DAY LONG.  At first I was concerned because he played the damn XBOX (Call of Doody) all the time.  However, every once and a while he would disengage from it and crawl out of the basement like a big bear coming out of hibernation.  All stretch-y and eye squint-y from the light.  Wayne and I could chat during these expeditions away from the XBOX and Evan knew what his daddy looked like.  All was good. 

His brother is staying with us and has been playing it.  He promised me he would keep Wayne away from the game.  Lies!  It’s all about WoW in the house right now.  Hours… tens of hours at a time.  Energy drinks and shots have been bought to battle sleepiness.  Bets have been made as to who can play it longer. 

I cooked dinner last night and actually had to give a warning call to them, “Dinner’s almost ready… end your quests!”  5-10 minutes later they scramble up the stairs, spoon food onto their plates and run back down hoping their character wasn’t killed during the 20 seconds they were away.  WTF?

Google “World of WarCraft Addiction” and you will get more hits than Rhianna.  (Too soon?)  Lost jobs, failing grades, suicides, poor little kitties corrupted!  And I feel bad because I currently eat too many Blow Pops in a day and eat at the same place for lunch for months at a time.  Wayne is even trying to wrangle me in…

Urrrrrg.  Play World of Warcraft with us.  Zorrrg.  All the cool kids are doing it.  Beep!  Just try it once, you will love it.  *blank stare*”

Tell you what, when the aliens do invade, the easiest way will be through online video games.  Who needs projectile vomiting a la The Invasion

OMG.  Wait!

Maybe they are invading now.  They could be getting our brains all mushy and pliable.  Aliens are totally like ninjas with computers… and programming knowledge!  They could be doing this to bloggers/blog readers as well!  It’s too late for us!  Conspiracy!  No one is safe… even my 75 year-old grandma plays card games online.  Sigh, I guess we’ll find out… surely they will delete this post if it’s true.  (Or I will when I read this after the Ambien has worn off.)

Anywhatsit, this gives you a full picture of my home:  Evan and I at the TV upstairs.  Wayne and Matt on computers downstairs.  Dogs being neglected somewhere in the middle. 

Home Sweet WarCrap.

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  1. Ask Wayne if he has a street name yet, like “Dragon” or something else equally douchy. Maybe if you call him a dork long enough he’ll start pulling away from the game. Doubtful, but at least you’ll get something out of it.


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