Teaching bad habits to the next generation. (AKA: Bad Mommy)

January 20, 2009 at 12:47 pm | Posted in Baby Weight (Evan), I shouldn't have even posted this | 1 Comment

Evan is growing and he won’t effin’ stop.  I’m a Bad Mommy ’cause I want my skinny little newborn back.  Because, well, look at this:

First Bath

Wook how wittle he is!  Daddy could hold him down with two fingers.  Let me tell you… that’s handy!  Plus the child can’t walk and he’s getting heavy.

 

I’m also a Bad Mommy because I took this precious grinning offspring:

Chubby Guy

and let some stranger STAB HIM!  Twice.  After the first one he just kinda looked at me like, “WTF?”.  The second one was kinda like, “You Bitch!  waaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!  Waa waa waa *whimper* *sigh* *sniffle* eeeeeeeeeehhh”.  So on and so forth.

 

Again with the Bad Mommy.  Rice Cereal.  It’s that time.  Apparently he “takes it fine” with his daycare provider, Miss Di.  (*gasp* Yup, I work.  Child is being raised by someone else.  Bad Mommy.) 

Dealing with it.

“This is… interesting.  It’s bottle time, but I guess we can do this for a minute.”  Three bites later:

Fail! 

 “This is just wrong!  You’re putting crap in my mouth and there isn’t even a nipple involved.  Get me out of this contraption!  Release meeeeeeeeee!  Put the camera down and make me a bottle, NOW!”

 

And this is just AWFUL.  Seriously, if you have a weak stomach for Bad Mommies or you are totally in a flaming mood, TURN AWAY NOW.  I could say he’s looking at Daddy with a toy… tangling it above his head or something…

 I'm not telling you what he's watching.

But that would be a lie.  Prepare yourself:

Proof.

That’s right.  He’s watching TV.  My four month old. Intensely.  And it’s Dirty Jobs he’s watching… Mike Rowe and snakes.  TV.  TeeeeeeeVeeeeee!!  How DARE I!  But he’s having Tummy Time.  And learning about snakes.  And Stuff.  That’s good, right?  Riiiiiiiiiiight.  (Ignore the evil glowing-eye dog.  He sees how much of a Bad Mommy I am and he’s damning me to Hell.)

That’s what makes me a Bad Mommy.  Confess:  What makes you a Bad Mommy?

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1 Comment »

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  1. Whatever it takes to make them do tummy time!! 🙂


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